Only in Japan…
Japanese Bug Fights are, in essence, the same as pokemon, or the pinnacle of Japanese culture and one of the most awesome things you can find on the internets. The phrase “Japanese Bug Fights” refers to a 30-part video series featuring various kinds of insects, arachnids, and other terrifying creatures battling to the death in a little plastic arena. Naturally, something this fucked up could only come from Japan. It is the closest thing to IRL Pokémon battles anyone will ever see.
Japanesebugfights.com seems to be the original source of the videos. The videos have all sorts of elaborate graphics, sound effects, and epic music played in the background, making the videos all the lulzier. Additionally, one thing that is simultaneously great yet irritating about the videos is that trademark Japanese commentary. While Japanese commentary can make pretty much any event hilarious, it’s impossible to tell what’s being said, since nobody has ever bothered to translate the moonspeak. This becomes a problem at the end of some of the videos, since there isn’t always a clear winner and both bugs are sometimes left alive. It is assumed that the Japs then go to the scorecard to declare the winner. And perhaps the lulziest part of all is that the site displays ads for pest control during the whole thing. In addition to the 30-part video series, the site also has a section for user-submitted content. However, there are only 4 user-submitted videos, one of which was baleeted from YouTube. Finally, there’s a rules section, showing that this forced battling of mindless creatures is, in fact, very organized and professional.
RULES OF JAPANESE BUG FIGHTS
You do not talk about Japanese Bug Fights.
- You DO NOT talk about Japanese Bug Fights.
- If a bug says “stop,” goes limp, or taps out, the fight is over.
- Only two bugs to a fight.
- One fight at a time.
- No shirts, no shoes.
- Fights will go on as long as they have to.
If this is your first night at Japanese Bug Fights, you HAVE to fight.
Oh sorry, those are the rules to Fight Club. Though it shares a couple rules with Fight Club, Japanese Bug Fight rules are actually closer to Thunderdome’s “two men enter, one man leaves”:
- Two bugs to a fight
- Bug fights go on as long as they have to
- No outside weapons in bug fights